Annnnnnnd SCENE!!!

2 days….WHAAAAAT?!??!? 2 days and I am DONE. 6 months of my life if over and another ship chapter closes….kind of….I guess……..this is always an interesting experience. Summing up a contract and reflecting is always hard especially when it’s one away from the person you love.

I came here to the Carnival Destiny (The Death Star) 6 months ago a crying, emotional, vomiting MESS. Literally….if you didn’t read my first blog right when I got here I was literally throwing my guts up the night before I landed in Miami over just not wanting to leave Chris. I obviously survived. When I start a contract I tell myself “remember THIS moment…6 months from now it will have flown by and you will remember right NOW being so miserable and you’ll have been ok regardless….” I remember that moment right now. I did make it and I have been MORE than ok. Yes there were some big bumps in the road as there always are. I once again cursed Christmas and all that it stands for in a miserable broken down tantrum, I curled up numerous times in balls of tears when I missed Chris so much I could not handle it, I got glass thrown at me, I got migraines so intense there was MORE vomiting, I got mad at people I worked with and mad at stupid rude guests and finally ripped Piano Man from it’s comfy home in my music books forever. The world heard me roar a few times….I will be honest. I am not perfect and I do not handle things perfectly. But I handled them.

I will not remember this contract for the crap though. I came to this ship and subconsciously promised myself I would make the most of it. I would find parts of myself I had forgotten and do things I was passionate about and extend myself and make new friends and try and love as much as I could instead of feeling anger at the circumstance. I vowed to give the guests more of a break than I usually do and not get so worked up as I have in the past. I did pretty well everything I set out to do. I went back to painting and drawing and discovered my original passion. It seems to have gone over well and I will admit to being proud of my work. I love having multiple things in the arts to fall on. I got back to practicing controlling my emotions through meditating and relaxing as much as I could….it didn’t always work but I was in a MUCH better place so some good came out of it. I met some of the best people I have ever met on ships as well as strengthening old friendships. I got to see other friends from other contracts who docked with us which kept my mind occupied and gave me lots to look forward in ports. I got visits from my wonderful man and his friends, I got a cruise with my best friend who I have not seen in forever and loved having time with him, I got to show my mom what I do nowadays and give her a nice time as well as my little brother. I lived by my own rules and never did anything I didn’t feel like or compromise myself for anyone in any way. I was kinder to guests and never let them make me cry for being rude or ignorant which was a HUGE thing for me. I read books and made vision boards and gave holiday gifts and attended parties. I saw old places I love and went to new ones….Key West is a new favorite not to mention the incredible psychic experience I had there. I hope every prediction she made comes true….she nailed my personal life down to a “t” so let’s hope everything else is rock solid as well! My future is a sunny place according to her and I am ready for happy stuff!!

And now it’s good bye time. I truly love some of the people I have found connections with here. I will miss my sweet friend Ali who held my hand numerous times when I fell apart and gave me more encouragement than I could have asked for. I will miss Cory and Nick and their antics and sharing afternoons having “chinka chinka time” painting with Nick and being music theatre geeks. I will miss Alan the Scottish light tech and his ridiculous British shows and sweet helpful gestures of hugs and ginger ales when migraines struck. I will miss pretty much this entire team…..the dancers, the hosts, musicians, my AMAZING room mate Jocelyn and her consistent digs at me, her pickle addiction, her tribal dancing and her hatred of being hugged. She got the WRONG room mate! I will miss my music director Eddie harassing me and telling me whenever he can what method he is going to use when he fires me. Nothing like positive reinforcement! I will miss SO much my break dancer boys…..Wish, Age and AK. I have met a lot of people on ships and they have been some of the most genuine and “real” people as you can find in entertainment and I had a BLAST with them. I have had SO many good experiences….not even the “I went swimming with dolphins today” sort of experiences (or the I got to be on stage with one of the NKOTB! Lol….loved it admittedly) but more the kind that make you a better person for having them. I am GRATEFUL for this contract. I LOVE my life I really honestly do. I have started to really love being “me” as well and being without Chris and having to rely on “me” quite a bit has helped me find things in myself I did not realize were there. I am a stronger and more confident person I feel for this contract. I have already been offered my next ship….the Glory, a nice big Conquest class out of NYC!!! I am going there with one of my VERY best friends Katie Schultz and if I can’t be there with Chris, I am THRILLED to get to spend SO much quality time with one of my favorite people in the world! I am a lucky girl indeed. SO….6 months of living, working, eating, and playing with these people. In 2 days I leave…..as much as I will miss them and as thoroughly grateful as I am for everything I have gained here….it’s more than time for me to go. 2 months with my man and I could not be more excited……life can only get more beautiful and I am ready for it!