"Merry" Christmas????

When I was a kid, I had a favorite tradition at Christmas. This is going to sound cheesy….but it’s more true than I think I can really explain…but I think where I want this to go will give reason as to what I mean…..

My parents (when they were married and we could act like a moderately normal family) liked each Christmas to find a family in need. As kids we didn’t quite understand why Santa and baby Jesus couldn’t help people who didn’t have presents and money and food….but we went along with this idea anyways….we got to go and pick out toys, not for us, but for the family and then wrap them and get a bunch of different food and treats together. We’d sneak to the porch of the family, leave everything in a pile, ring the doorbell and run. My dad made sure we would hide somewhere we could see the people open the door and find the presents. I remember that feeling more so than the memory of any gift I ever got as a child. It made me feel good to make others feel good especially if Santa or Jesus was going to forget them. Someone needed to remember those people right?

As an adult I did this little stunt a couple other times….more memorably with some friends who wanted to get in on it….after we ran from the family’s house, I remember one of the girls in a voice obviously choked with tears say that it actually felt like Christmas at that point. That was also the Christmas I would have been left completely alone in a new city unless my best friend Caleb hadn’t come to save the day and bring me presents and more importantly himself which was a bigger gesture of unconditional friendship and love as I have been shown by a lot of people……I miss him….and other people of course as anyone can guess…..

Considering my innate nature at this time of year, I think I just expect people to “get it” around the holidays. I expect people to “get” that this time of year and ANY time of year should be an opportunity to share and give love and spread happiness for any reason. So in an environment such as ships where there are a million and one different reasons to show some love I expect it even more. There are a bunch of different people thrown together in the same situation at Christmas. We are away from family, friends and significant others. We ALL need some uplifting at the holiday season. I am of the mindset that that does not exclude anyone because of religious belief, race, (especially on ships) gender, lifestyle, JOB, etc etc etc. My first year on ships was wonderful…..a huge support system of entertainment staff who tried to make sure everyone felt the sting a little less that year of the separation and anxiety of the specific season. I wish every department could use ours that year as a template for a bunch of people trying to help each other out…..I am not going to get into the past couple years of Christmases on ships. I am not going to point fingers….but I will say I am disappointed. I am not personally hurt, but hurt in general that people I know in this lifestyle knowing what we know about what we all go through, make conscious choices to exclude and to segregate….to seemingly consciously choose to decide who should and shouldn’t have fun at this time of year or to make the conscious decision to not care. To see sadness on people’s faces who SHOULDN’T have to be sad this time of year is disheartening. To feel helpless is even more saddening as sometimes you can’t do anything to fix it but know it could have been prevented…..kind of like preventative health care….sometimes with a little knowledgeable preventative measures, a lot of people could be spared a lot of discomfort. Sparing emotional discomfort is something everyone should be allowed if possible…especially in these over emotional circumstances and situations my lifestyle lends itself to.

I wish so much that I had the means to play the “secret santa” game for EVERYONE I know…..and even those I don’t know but could use it. I wish the people who CAN and COULD have….would. The world, even in our tiny little bubble of a section of it, could be such a nicer and more livable place if people could adopt a more sensitive mentality. It’s the reason why I don’t mind being openly agnostic at Christmas. I know my intentions are purely good for the sake of being good ones. I don’t expect anything in return when I do act, I just enjoy it. THAT sort of selfish behavior would be more than acceptable at this time of year. For all those people who need love and some uplifting this time of year, I hope you find it. I hope you get someone who knocks on your door and leaves something whether it be a present or cookies a hug or smile….just something to make you feel loved. Until then, I am going to spend my Christmas day in Cozumel Mexico. I am going to write my friends and loved ones and focus on what I can at this point…..I am going to talk to the love of my life who makes it feel like “Christmas” every day and gives me more than anything could provide materialistically in this world. I am going to eat crap today and go on a diet and go to the gym tomorrow. I am going to remember what I personally feel is the real meaning of this season, NOT the religious aspect because come on people…..history proves Jesus wasn’t even born today……so it’s not that AND it’s CERTAINLY not the material aspect. So while you’re thanking people for the presents and wishing Jesus a happy surprise birthday…..stop for a minute and ask yourself what it’s all SUPPOSED to mean……and then maybe go spread some cheer….just because it’s the nice thing to do….every day of the year. Merry Christmas world.

One of the Perks

I work with a LOT of talent. When I came to ships from Branson, I was used to performers at that point. I had shared the stage with plenty of amazing people doing amazing things….but then I got an even broader spectrum coming into an entertainment community that branches out across the world. Cruise lines hire from everywhere and honestly, NOT a lot of Americans. I am a minority in my circle of work peers. When you DO meet an American performer on ships chances are they are a musician. So when I met the new show band pianist I was not surprised to see he was from PA. This guy though, all things considered was mildly rough around the edges. I have to say, musicians usually are for the most part which is why I usually end up hanging out with the dancers (not a LOT less rough but less so for the most part!) as well as the fact that musicians are also almost always men. Strike out on my end again. Anyways, this new guy was young, tall, bald with little glasses, white as white can be but had a mouth on him like a kid from the projects. And with a name like Dimitri you just couldn’t add it all up…..I was amused to say the least my first conversation with him. He happened to be standing in the atrium during a set of mine (which made me nervous……fellow performers are always the worst critics) after which I came down and thanked him for watching and chatted a bit. He was kind hearted as could be, but like I said….a little rough in conversation. I imagined another rock/pop/jazz pianist who couldn’t even begin to appreciate what a classically trained pianist would have to bring to the table and was mildly intrigued when he mentioned he was working on some “pieces” of the classical genre. I gave him a standing offer to sit in on any of my sets and see what he could do.

So I was pleasantly surprised today when out of no where, at what happened to be my “classical” set of the day, Dimitri showed up. He complimented what I had just been playing and I said I would be glad to let him play….it just had to be classical as it was “tea time” and that was the preferred vibe for that particular setting. From what he had told me about his background and what he had been working on I was expecting perhaps my equal at maybe a few random well know classics.

There are many times when I am humbled and dare I say speechless at certain people’s talent and humility as performers. Dimitri sat at my piano, un tucked polo shirt, striped shorts and dirty sneakers, glasses sitting on top of his bald head and played. I was immediately breathless. From what he had told me….he was somewhat of a novice at this style and I was NOT listening to a novice. His long fingers literally danced across the keys to some of Chopin and Lizts and even Mozart’s (my personal fave’s) more difficult sonatas and etudes. I am RARELY made emotional by performers at this stage of my career. I have seen too many to count……this time was different though. I was choked up at the simplicity of this person who I had made too many quick assumptions of based on one conversation, playing such intricately difficult and stunning pieces that I could not even fathom playing unless hours were put in practicing and even then my small hands would probably never be able to handle the amount of notes and length it takes to play that sort of classical piece. I was choked up too by the humility of someone who could just sit and play so effortlessly with so much precision and emotion and still be able to turn around and tell ME I was a wonderful musician. And even with all that he still, after finishing his first selection, turned and asked “Was that ok? I know YOU’RE much better at this style but I really wanted to come play some of this since I never get to”. All I could do was smile like an idiot and say…it was perfect.

I have been so lucky to meet so many people like Dimitri, who not only show me what amazing talent looks and sounds like, but also what true passion for art and true humility look like as well. I have seen dancers who could be gracing the stages of national ballets and heard singers who should (some who have) been on Broadway and listened to musicians who could solo in any band or orchestra I have ever heard. And more often then not, THOSE are the ones you want to spend time with. They’re the ones who have usually been my long standing friends in this crazy life style and have been my inspirations and motivations to better myself as a performer AND as a person. I find often that the truly talented ones are usually the most down to earth and humble. I am SO lucky to be surrounded by them every day of every contract I take. It’s them that make doing what we all do together that much more worthwhile and fulfilling. I hope at least some of them get to read this because they know who they are…..and to them I want to say thank you. I am a very fortunate person to work with you and call you my friends. Hopefully I can one day match the level they’re all at as a professional AND a person…..

Defining Normal

When I was growing up I never had the normal wants in life most kids are raised to want. I was not one to imagine my wedding day or think of names for future children. I was always a big dreamer. So it's probably no surprise I do what I do. Going into entertainment though, especially coming from a VERY small town was not easy in any way so every teacher or coach that ever said DON'T DO THIS was probably right......it takes a certain warped, riven, stubborn sort of person to do this because it is NOT easy, which makes me a pretty good candidate. I never do things the easy way and I am stubborn as anyone when it comes to what I want in life and I wanted to perform.

So all in all it's been a pretty good ride....NEVER easy of course....but good all around. I enjoy cruise ships for the most part. The traveling is nice....I mean, I am writing this from Cozumel Mexico which is one of my favorite spots and looking at the ocean and seeing the skyline of Playa Del Carmen across the way and it's sunset.....beautiful. These are the moments I love what I do. Now of course, when I get back to the ship and have to pay for internet and am stuck to a mildly confining place and don't have Chris with me the questions start to roll through my brain......even though I am playing music for a living I wonder what having a "normal" existence would be like.....

I was reading a friend from high school's blog this afternoon. She took what most people would describe as the "normal" route. She married her high school sweetheart who has worked very hard in school and has a more normal job that affords them the ability to have a nice home and two kids. They do more normal people things like school activities and putting up decorations on their home for holidays, having family bbq's and dinners, you know....."normal" things..... And I looked at that life and thought....that could be nice......! Maybe? I used to have a home....a nice one. I was performing on land and it was SO hard, even with the good money it brought in, the instability of all of it was very overwhelming to keep a house and try to be normal. For those who do not know me well, I was married at the time too and trying my best at it. I seem to have failed at it for the most part....lol. But the feeling of having that little piece of normal was kind of nice. But at the time my heart wasn't in it and now here I am a million miles away from anything that resembles a normal life. I have to talk to the man I love on Skype for the most part and wonder when the next time is that we are going to spend a long amount of time together. My "work" consists of playing piano and learning to get along with entertainers from all over the world shoved into the tiniest of hallways literally backstage of the theatre on a cruise ship. I go to places people save their entire lives to see on a weekly basis although I don't even have my car and have to rely on public transit everywhere I go or do a lot of walking. There are days when I would love "normal". There are days I just want my car, and a big bed with my man to cuddle up to. I want to go to the mall or eat somewhere I WANT to eat or get cable tv and have a house of my own again and decorate it how I want and not share my space with strangers and have to put on a "show" all the time for everyone I come in contact with. Those thoughts are nice thoughts. But it never fails as soon as I get back to land (and mind you...neither Chris or I can call anywhere on land "home" yet....staying with your parents at this age is just not enough freedom to be considered "home") it only takes me a week or so to want the rest of the world again. I miss being paid to do what I truly in my heart love doing, not something I "need" to do or "have" to do because society or anyone else tells me I should. I go home and see people I know doing and having "normal". I do love and envy parts of that normal but I always ask myself if I could actually be "doing normal"right now in my life. Would I be ok doing what everyone else seems to be doing and just going through life the way some people term as what "normal" is? Honestly.....at this point probably not! I never want the "what if's" and the "should have's" or "could have's" in my life. So someday when I DO have the house and hopefully Chris puts a ring on my finger...wink wink......and we become what the world defines as more socially responsible, at least then we can look back and know we did things that fulfilled us and we lived a life we could look back on without regret or questioning. For me, that would be better than any "normal" in the entire world. Going to head back to the ship now where no amount of normal exists........

(above pictures are of my current ship the Destiny and my stage in the atrium with my piano)

Care Bears and cameras and Jamaica...oh my....

I AM SO TIRED!!!

It’s ok you don’t have to feel sorry for me……I don’t feel sorry for me. It’s been a good week all in all as far as first weeks go. I am sitting here in a mud mask with Chris’ old Care Bear Bunny. (see pic) There are a few things that are funny about this besides the obvious….one is that of all the Care Bears in the world, when he was a kid, the one he had was the bunny. And he had to go and find the one girl who has an abnormal obsession for that certain animal. Needless to say, I stole it and he is with me on the ship for something to cuddle at night. Now the other thing that is kind of funny is the fact that all you get as far as a picture for my first week here is another dumb cropped eyes only photo done with photo booth. It’s not that I am not taking pictures, it’s because I am pretty sure I have the wrong cable to this camera Chris gave me and I have no idea how to get the pictures off the camera. So you do not get to see pictures of my room, any of the people here or any of the snaps I took while in Ocho Rios Jamaica today. Nope. Just mud mask and bunny eyes. Who cares about Jamaica right???

I had random Jamaica thoughts yesterday actually. I was on a ship that went to Montego Bay all the time years ago so I can’t say I was actually “excited” to be in Jamaica again even though it was Ocho Rios instead. So yesterday I was playing a set in the dining room at the back of the ship and I took a break….yes I took a break from playing the piano. Go stare at a page full of tiny black dots for an hour and slap your hands on a table repeatedly and see if you don’t want one too!!!! Anyways, I sat by a window for a few minutes and just stared at the ocean and the horizon. This is a good way to let your mind wander by the way….and I almost wandered off into whiny territory, the I really miss Chris and want to be on the same ship with him now and I don’t feel like playing piano today because these passengers are not into listening to me and boy I wish tomorrow was Cozumel and not Jamaica or even better why can’t it be next Sunday so it’s payday and holy crap would I kill for a chocolate donut right now sort of thoughts. Eesh. Stop on Jamaica day. Why would anyone in their right mind think, I don’t feel like going to Jamaica??? Ok, it’s one of those “it’s my job” moments. We all have them no matter what our profession and at that moment, the fact that I almost felt irritation over going to Jamaica struck me as very funny. I have SO many actually fun, funny, and happy memories of the place! And this was the other side of the island and apparently a better side so it had to be something to look forward to. In my efforts this week to keep positive while being alone again, I have been very aware of feelings of gratitude for almost every situation I come across. So with all that in mind, I got off the boat today and was VERY happy to see a more civilized area of the island with an actually decent pier that walked you straight into a livable area. Ok, fair enough, I still got harassed to buy this and that every 5 seconds but when I actually stopped to really look at where I was and really appreciate it, really, it’s a beautiful place. And even better, I found a QUIET (in a touristy area like that, quiet is a novelty) café with internet access and sat for a couple hours and talked on Skype with the best looking man in the entire world and soaked up some sunshine before going back to the ship and playing piano for a few hours. That was my work day kids. So don’t feel sorry for me because I am tired. I can deal with staring at lots of little black dots on paper and flailing my hands across the keys for people who don’t really seem to be paying much attention (ok there were a few….I got some sincerely nice compliments tonight). Do feel bad though that I couldn’t put up a picture of the ship sitting in beautiful blue ocean (the ocean is perfect in Jamaica…bluest anywhere I am certain) or a picture of the island from the pier or the Rastafarians selling touristy souvenirs in little stands. Blame Chris for not giving me the GOOD camera while I am away….I will try and take care of this problem. Until then, enjoy the Care Bear Bunny, and my mud masked face which by the way, now has squeaky clean pores. Off to bed to cuddle the bunny and I will sadly say that I will not be getting off the ship in Grand Cayman tomorrow. I can’t take pictures anyway so I’ll sleep in and fix that “tired problem” I was complaining about!

Getting by with a little help...

I’m doing better today. Like I said, the first cruise or so is a battle of riding the ups and downs and finding a good place of routine and semi-stability as much as you can find in this atmosphere. Part of finding that “at home” feeling relies a lot on the people you surround yourself with. Good ship companions as I have found out, can make or break a contract for you. While I tend to try and be on the independent side and not need to constantly lean on someone, an emotionally driven person such as myself does, embarrassingly at times, rely on those stable relationships. One of the downfalls, and charm of this life is the seemingly magical way that important people filter seamlessly in and out of your existence on ships.

This has been the case for a few friends who have woven their way back into my ship life world this week. The first, has been Alison (not me speaking in 3^rd person….an actual dancer named Alison) who was on the Paradise with Chris and I almost 2 years ago now. A light hearted, care free Australian girl who is much younger than me (as most dancers on ships are which leads me to feel more mature than I should at 28) but has a quirky maturity about her that has always been endearing. I knew she would be here when I accepted this ship and was one of the reasons I did choose this ship. To have someone who knows and loves both me AND my boyfriend is very reassuring and her presence has been very comforting as she is in a similar situation being apart from a boyfriend as well. I spent a good long while sitting with her on the floor of her room talking and laughing and enjoying a nice feeling of “family” yesterday, which is a very nice luxury close to the holidays and in this environment where you can feel very easily isolated. I am very grateful to have someone just down the hallway that I know I can steal a hug from when I need it. Unfortunately, you don’t always have that on every contract.

The other enormous friend luxury I have been provided docked next o me in Grand Turk today. When Chris signed off the Paradise and left me to finish my contract over a year ago, a girl named Katie Schultz had signed on to be the singer in the new cast of performer on the ship. Katie is also American (which on ships is a rarity…..no one can throw the minority card at me after my time in this lifestyle) which is a common bond right off, but even more so, the common thread of similarities in personality we share cannot be overlooked. Chris had met her first and immediately “picked her out” for me and told her to take care of me when he left the Paradise and that she did. She was almost literally my saving grace (her and her Australian at the time boyfriend Matt who also was on this ship visiting her this particular day) and we have shared a friendship bond since that has stood contracts and vacations apart for over a year now which also, in this lifestyle, is something to be said for. So it was with much happiness that both our ships today happened to dock in the same port and I was literally the first person to run off the gangway and nearly tackle Katie who was standing on the pier with Matt waiting for me. While I will not get into everything talked about or all the catching up shared, the fact that I have the opportunity to be around people that I care very much for and value in my life is priceless. I get wonderful opportunities in my line of work…..just the fact that I stepped off a CRUISE SHIP (where I LIVE) into a port like Grand Turk and this is a normal occurrence is special. But having that on a regular basis reaffirms to me constantly the importance of people like Katie, Alison and Matt in my life who feel like a family when I am far away from any stable sort of family or my boyfriend. It’s them who love and accept me when I need a person to trust and talk to or laugh with or show vulnerability when a lot of this lifestyle depends on your strength and independence. Their friendships, when SO many relationships in the life of an entertainer are just fly by acquaintances, are so valuable to me and worth working at to keep in contact and stay connected to. I am so happy and so grateful this contract that I have that. It’s going to be a lot of what keeps me sane so far away and with so many unknowns at this moment and so close to the holidays. And for me, that’s saying a lot.

Hope for Canadian citizenship....or smarter Americans....

Ok, so I want to write this blog while fully in the emotional moment of my day just so you get the full context of the ups and downs on the first cruise of a contract…brace yourself…it could get ugly….well, just a little anyways!

Your first full day on board begins with training. Yep, even after a bunch of ship contracts, every single ship you sign on to drags you out of bed at stupid o clock in the morning after your insanely exhausting first day to go over stuff you have heard over and over and over again…and not only that you get to hear it from either (or both) a soft spoken Indian with bad English or an even softer spoken Italian with even worse English so not only are you tired, but annoyed that the repeated information can’t even be heard. So after about 2 hours, they released us back to our cabins where I thought maybe with any luck I could get a nap in….after all I didn’t “work” until 5. Lucky for me my stomach once again decided to remind that it definitely works even at a dysfunctional level, and kept me from getting any much needed rest before staring at millions of music notes for hours. So I took my time getting ready for my evening, had a Red Bull and felt loads better. There isn’t much a Red Bull can’t superficially cure at least for an hour or so. That one hour was definitely my allotment for the evening’s set.

Here’s the deal for anyone who ever considers a cruise or considers being anywhere at all where there is live entertainment……don’t be a self centered, uncultured, arrogant, ignorant moron. That’s the bottom line. Here’s the long definition…..

So we all know I’m tired and needless to say even with some good points this ship has thrown at me, I am a little on edge to say the least. The start of my 4 hour set was pretty good. I had a talk with the world’s most awful Yamaha and it agreed to play nice for me and take a little stress out of my evening. So far so good. First pre-dinner set in, not too many complaints. The noise level was minimal surprisingly, but the vibe still border lined on aloof stupidity at best. The thing I notice with guests on shorter cruises is (and this isn’t meant to sound offensive, but its’ going to come across that way) is that most of them have no sense of culture or class and are pretty well just there to get wasted. I was hoping this really wasn’t the case with these people….the next couple hours proved me wrong….why American tourists do you ALWAYS prove me wrong?!?!?!?!

I give it my all as a performer. I get highly irritated at myself if I do not play really well and play challenging, impressive arrangements that I am usually sure will garner some sort of response….I mean you would THINK that common sense would lead one to believe that when one performs someone will get the idea to applaud right???? Someone like myself usually does not study music for years and years to be ignored. So when the second pre-dinner crowd rolled in….all 200 or so of them…..I was hoping since it was a formal evening that maybe their classier sides would show up….wrong again. Trying to concentrate on really difficult music for a long period of time while still feeling slightly sick and very tired is hard enough as it is….add about 200 noisy, drunk, inconsiderate guests to the mix and you have a recipe for misery. I have taken great pains as an entertainer to add almost every sort of genre to my repertoire that I can so I can accommodate all tastes and tonight, there was no pleasing this group. Even my most flamboyant, ostentatious, and impressive pieces didn’t even get a blink from these people which left me flustered and not knowing how to react. It didn’t help that the added volume combined with my pounding on the piano to even hear myself was giving me a slight headache. The past couple days, it seems Mr Robin Gardner has unknowingly come to my rescue at every right moment and right at the moment the frustrated tears began to well up, he popped up to my stage and asked how it was all going. I sniffed a little and asked if he would walk away with me so I could compose myself. We did and he chatted with me long enough to take a little bit of stress off and I returned for the last few minutes only to be greeted by a few left over drunks being loud and obnoxious around the bar surrounding the stage. There was about 15 minutes left in my set and I left it. 4 hours and done. By the time I made it to the hallway backstage, the main production show had started. Normally, this is what Chris would be doing if he were with me right now. He would be on stage singing and dancing and I would probably either go catch a part of the show or go to our room and curl up in bed in front of the tv and wait for him to come “home”. This was a massively glaring reminder of the fact that this was not going to be the case for a while, with this class of ship and pretty well living backstage and hearing the show NOT including my boyfriend in it. I marched up to the open back stage door (subsequently maybe 10 feet from the door to my room) and slammed it….maybe too hard but no one noticed. Now I AM in my pajamas curled up…but unfortunately Chris is not coming “home” tonight. He’ll be popping on in a bit to Skype chat and that’s the best we can do for now. The moral of the story? If you are ever on a ship, chances are there are other people in my position. We’re out here trying our best to do what we love and chances are we’re away from someone we love at the same time and making other sacrifices large and small to be here. Cut us some slack. If we’re doing something that you can’t do or even more so, wouldn’t do….tell us in some way you appreciate it. It helps us through these moments of loneliness and gives it all some meaning when we’re having a tough time finding it on our own. And if you want to look at it selfishly….do it so I don’t have to hear as an American, from all my friends from different countries….what the hell is WRONG with your people???? It’s slightly embarrassing….especially on nights like tonight when I can’t help but agree. Here’s hoping for Canadian citizenship sooner than later……

Tears, puke and happy coincidence....this is my Destiny.

Oh boy where to begin? SO much happens from the time you leave for a contract to that first day on board…..it’s hard to condense and give an accurate representation of it. So I will try my best….

So my last day with Chris was started with the best of intentions. Those who know me know I borderline on emotional basket case on a good day. On that particular day it was more of trying to exorcise demons from an unwilling patient in this case being my silly brain. I was a wreck. Even with a trip to see a traveling Tim Burton art exhibit (so amazing I can’t even being to describe) it wasn’t enough to take the edge off my nerves and a trip afterwards to WalMart to get a few last minute essentials turned into an adventure of puke inducing nerves that caused Chris to have to pull to the side of the road several times to let me barf what little I had eaten that day right back out. I was not pretty. So I finished packing that night in a nausea medicated stupor and then it was that dreaded morning.

I have observed before on here that you take pretty well your life with you to a ship. Well, being a girl that’s more than obvious and so there we were in the Toronto airport, me, still in pretty well my pajamas, two carry ons and two over packed suitcases to drag around while feeling still pretty sick and then having to say goodbyes to Chris….again. Sigh. He gets the best boyfriend in the world award for putting up with my garbage. He let me hug on him and publicly cry up until the last possible moment and then I was out. I arrived at the Double Tree Hotel in Miami after a really long day and started back into a not so welcome routine of scheduling our first of many Skype dates and again….messiness. Part of me feels like it’s just not natural to share your life with the person you want to spend it with constantly over computer chat. And at this moment I should point out that while this makes me sound HIGHLY ungrateful for my work as it is pretty exceptional, I will say that I am in no way downplaying my thankfulness for my job. In our line of work, work at all is hard to come by much less stable amounts and we are pretty lucky, but I will say for us that we work very very hard to have it so these moments of semi-selfish whining I feel are well deserved. And so at that moment I got out what I felt like was a good dose of self pitying whining.

I do feel that a lot of times, when you feel like you just can’t handle a situation (this time I was pretty unsure of myself….almost to the point where I thought about turning around, quitting and just figuring out my life from there) the universe gives you at least a small helping hand to give you that little extra push. While sitting in my hotel room enjoying my last bit of free internet for a while (yes, crew members have to pay for internet time on a ship…that’s why it’s the equivalent of gold in most cases) I got a face book message from a ship friend I hadn’t heard from in a while. When you go to the hotel Carnival puts you up in the night before you sign on, you have to sign a list and subsequently get to see who else is staying there. My British friend Robin happened to be going to the same ship as me (which I was unaware of) and noticed my name on the list when he happened to sign in and wrote to tell me he happened to be…well….just down the hall. The prospect of a familiar face to take some of the edge off being so incredibly lonely was more than a happy coincidence. I got to speak to Chris (a little more calmly) on Skype one more time before he went to bed and then tore off to Robin’s room for a much needed hug and some good laughs and my spirits were immediately lifted. It’s the little things that make it for me and at that point, things looked incredibly brighter.

The next morning we took our time and another musician signing on to the Destiny accompanied us in getting a cab to the ship where we waited for what seemed like forever to sign on. Anyone who ever complains about a slow embarkation process onto a ship needs to try it being a crew member some time. Chaos is not the word. Anarchy disguised as organization is more like it. I felt insanely lucky though, as when I did get on, I knew I had a couple of friends already on board, but had no idea that I knew what seemed like the entire ship full of people. The comfort level of having so many familiar faces was amazing. I got the key to my cabin and soon found my new room mate had just signed on as well and happened to be someone I had met before and happens to be a very sweet girl named Sarah. All of entertainment pretty much on this ship, lives in a corridor right behind the stage in the main theatre. My very first ship was the same set up and it felt very much like home and put me even more at ease. Luckier still, my first evening of playing only consisted of 2 hours. Amazing….and being exhausted made it even more amazing that I had such a short evening. Of course, the night would not have been complete without a Skype chat with my handsome (even when pixilated) man who also got to chat with a mutual dancer friend (who also happens to be named Alison) and get a tour of my room etc etc. By the end of my evening I only ha a couple of complaints….my piano I play is horrendous. All my hard practicing I did before coming here may be null and void as the thing is garbage. Yamaha pianos are crap for anyone looking into one…don’t waste your time and money. My other complaint was the fact that the vibe from these guests feels a little to much like that of the ones out of Long Beach on 3 and 4 day cruises….the ones who either love or hate you or only clap if you play a song they like, otherwise they’re deafeningly loud and drunk and could not give a crap….which was kind of the atmosphere I found myself in. But considering all the pros this ship had already offered on just my first day, I was willing to overlook and ignore the ignorance. If you ever cruise and are around a live entertainer…..be warned. Behavior as I have pointed out is noticed and we will label you as rude and ignorant without much problem and your song request for Billy Joel will be met with a loud rendition of some obscure showtune….or in the case last night, a very BAD jazz rendition of O Christmas Tree. Other than that….all in all and considering my situation and circumstance (and the amount of puke it took me getting here) the first day on board the Carnival Destiny was as successful as anyone could hope for. Fingers crossed now Chris hears some good news and the process of sharing a good situation on another ship can begin again…..until then, I have four hours of playing on that awful piano and if that’s my worst complaint so far, I’m doing pretty well.

The Homeless Gypsy

Congratulations you have finished 4 1/2 months straight living and working on a floating hotel! You've survived angry guests, bad food in the crew dining room, missed ports, bad satellite reception, a cramped room, no cable tv and all the other luxuries that being a ship entertainer affords you!!!

Now pack your crap and get out. Well....pack your crap...get out of your room at stupid 0-clock in the morning and wait for hours while the ship is delayed getting to your homeport so you can go.....

Home??

Errrrmmm.....well, that WOULD be a nice concept you would think and while a contract is not completely filled with the above mentioned challenges, by the end of a contract they are a lot of what you focus on....unfortunately. So on that last day when you are finally set free, suitcases in hand, you are filled with an overwhelming appreciation of freedom and liberation and the prospect of what we refer to as our form of vacation, becoming land dwellers again for a bit. But in your haste to get the crap off the boat and make your way to a somewhat normal existence you forget....oh yes.....I have no normal in my life! Hell, for that matter, most of us don't even have our own homes to go to once off that boat! Tragedy....and comedy when you turn upside down and stare at it backwards. Of course this was the situation Chris and I found ourselves in as we always do after a contract. Logic says to you, even as a somewhat logical "adult" that because most of your life is spent living on a boat and your time on land is usually nor more than 2 months at a time...why waste good money on jumping into buying a home? Especially when you're not even really sure where you want to put stakes down? So there we were. Free and homeless once again. "Luckily" we both have parents who seem to enjoy having their grown off spring invade their homes and lives for short periods of time when they can have us. This time it was Chris' parents turn to put the both of us up for a bit until I left first for the next adventure. Canada....we were on our way.

We rented a car and drove from Baltimore to Toronto Ontario in one long 9 hour drive......THAT was the good day!! I kid. There have been many good days since then, but that one where it was just us, the car and no one to tell us where to go or what to do for a few precious hours was very nice. Since being in Canada I have come to a few conclusions....it's pretty much America...if America smoked a bunch of weed and chilled the hell out a bit, got themselves some govt health care and worshipped the pagan god Tim Horton. What staying with his parents in Canada is NOT...well....it's not the best of situations for a 28 and 31 year old to be in that's for sure!!! There's something that sits wrong with you as an adult living under the roof and law of parents....epecially ones that are not your own. but what other choice does a homeless entertainer have? Not many, so you make the best!!! So for two months things have gone a little like this......

I have met most of Chris' family which has been nerve racking and amusing all at once (you learn so much more about a person when you see the sort of people who raised them and hung out with them), I have met most of his closest friends (they are quite the bunch of quirky and lovely people), and been to most of the must see/do places in Toronto. I took a trip out east to a cabin in the middle of no where (honestly, that should have been it's own blog....but I would have most certainly offended someone) and almost chewed a limb off in hopes of freedom after one day, I have gone up the CN Tower, had too much Tim Horton's coffee, been to a hockey game, spent a lot of time in the down town area, had amazing all you can eat sushi that I will miss having access to, and spent loads of downtime in the house.

That I think has started to eat at me a bit....the down time somewhere that is unfamiliar. I have no access to call anyone (roaming charges would end me) and I have no access to a car and am not comfortable with public transit enough to get around. I am feeling like a child dependent on everyone else for everything this vacation. For a pretty independent adult, that is mildly frustrating. So I have been plodding along, doing my best not to blow up when the claustrophobic feeling sets in, and making due and being grateful for my time with Chris. I have practiced piano and gotten way too much new music for my brain to wrap itself around but it has kept me mildly occupied as well as bringing out the art pad and pencils and getting back to doing some art which has also kept my brain busy which is good. So in a nutshell, it's been another learning experience. I am pretty impressed with Chris and I. There aren't a lot of couples out there in the "real" world who have had to have gone through what we have and adapt and grow as much as we have through all the weirdness. We have had some crazy situations tossed in our laps and we have beaten all of them together. That in itself has made me very happy. It's good to know that in a life that is mostly chaotic I do have stability with the one thing that needs to be stable in my life. I know I can count on my man to stick all the craziness out with me and there's more coming our way in 3 days.......

I have to pack again. I am doing laundry as I write this and have once again organized my music and started to figure out what stays and goes as well as with my personal belongings. Another round of putting my life into two bags and a carry on and for who knows how long this time. We are back to the waiting game as we do not know where Chris is going......again. The entertainment department of Carnival leaves a little to be desired when it comes to caring for their employees personal well-being, but I will not get on that soap box now. Now I will say, that as much as it has been a mildly trying 2 months staying in the home of my boyfriends parents, it has also been a good experience. I got to spend an extra two months with him and see where he grew up and see the places and meet the people who have shaped the person I think is one of the best people in the world and for that I am grateful. I am also grateful to be going to the Destiny where I know I have friends who can help me through this next round of adjustment and more uncertainty and that, when working on ships, is worth more than I can describe. So I am going to go continue with laundry and packing.....out of here in t-minus 3 days......

Epic Fail....almost.

Oh the best laid plans. But at least I come back to them right? I always say I am going accomplish this and that and have such good intentions as I am sure we all do. This time I swear I will get this right!!!!!

So I re-vamped the page first off and I like it. It suits more of the mood I think I am trying to achieve with this thing...I mean....ocean...sailing....a little on the mysterious side of the color spectrum...so much more me.

So the last contract was a blur. I think the absence of documentation shall be forgiven in this case. It was my first nice long contract with Chris and I think I needed to focus on that. Being apart for so long and then really really re-adjusting was I think the focus of my time on board. I do wish I had written a little more. There were so many people and advents and situations that happened that would have been a good, gripping read for the public, but ah well. I came away from that ship with some wonderful friends...Amanda will have to be stuffed into my guest house with my other ship girls someday....and I did a lot of fun things....I mean, who DOESN'T want to go to Harry Potter World at Universal Studios? Come on!! Well...Chris didn't. But I drug him anyways! Yes, my contract was full of drama, parties, laughs, set after set after set full of quirky, annoying and often wonderful audiences, beaches, sunshine and the messiest end of contract debarkation imaginable. And again I survived only this time I got to do it all with my partner in crime and everything else in my life and that was the biggest thrill of all. It's so funny to me what makes us realize what is important in life. I love what I do and I am such a luck person to live a life filled with adventures people save their whole lives for, but when I get to do it with the one person I respect, admire and love most of anyone in this world it really really puts it all in perspective. Live is a much fuller place with Chris than without him. I am going to re-adjust to the without again in a few days. I am heading to the Carnival Destiny out of Miami on Sunday and I am feeling that knot of fear and anxiety twisting in my stomach again. But luckily, this time as I set out on my own, I know I am going to a ship where I have some great girl friends to keep me company and keep me occupied while we wait to be put together again. That's a wonderful comfort to me. Until then, the past 2 months have been spent in Canada at Chris' parents house which has posed it's own set of challenges which I will document next.....ohhhh Canadaaa..........

Needing some normal.....and some ice cream.

I want a routine and some sanity. Yep. Almost a month in and the crazies may kill me! Well, first off, a normal person’s schedule would help. These late nights rolling over into getting up for an early afternoon set and trying to play music coherently in some bad venues are grating on my nerves. Not to mention the over abundance of hours. I fear for my wrists some days…..but enough about that!!!

   Imagine yourself at your workplace. Now imagine that the people at your workplace are a bunch of bored entertainers needing some excitement in their lives and the best they can come up with is to pick mercilessly at each other. I love the people I work with, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t get to leave my workplace!! One of the downfalls of ship life is I don’t get to get in my car, drive to Jamba Juice or take out Chinese and go home to a big couch in front of cable tv to unwind. Oh no. I stumble down several flight of stairs in my heels to the very tight living quarters Chris and I share in the midst of drama junction. I love being there with him….no doubt. It’s that reminder that the little closet is all you have separating you from everyone and everything else, and this is it kids. This ship is our world while we are here. When you leave your little closet, you spend your time trying to avoid being involved with the petty day to day things that living at work can incur, and then throw in the multi cultural aspect and it’s slightly mind numbing. That little walk you take to your fridge in your kitchen nicely stocked with exactly what you want to eat? Not a chance. Try putting on mildly acceptable public attire (think your entire workplace seeing you walk to the kitchen in sweats, a t-shirt and minimal make –up), making sure you have your identification tags, and taking a walk down a long stretch of the ship to the crew dining when all you want is some peanut butter on a piece of toast…aaaaand….no. Rice anyone??? Back to that whole multi cultural thing….when 90 percent of the people in the crew are Pilipino or Indonesian, rice is a staple, although I never touch the stuff. It can wear on you. I am finally here with Chris and now I can’t help but feel the urge for a few normal luxuries. A bath tub perhaps…..heck, a bathroom big enough to actually do my hair and make up in and not have to sit on the edge of the bed while Chris is still sleeping to do my make up! Having a phone that my boss does not have immediate access too….maybe not having my boss living a few doors down from me would be nice too. Being able to walk out of my door without having to attach my identity to my chest or wear jeans beyond the crew bar….maybe have an extra day or two where I had free internet or use of my phone so I could keep connected to the real world….sigh. The things we do to do what we love. We entertain for a living and these are the small luxuries we give up to do it and Chris and I are planning a few more good years at this. So for now we grin and bear the small inconveniences our life entails, and yes, they are small. I suppose in life there is always give and take. Ours are just a little out of the norm as far as a regular life would go and for some reason there are days when you forget what sort of world you live in here and want some normalcy. So today, I am sitting in Baltimore. It’s a gorgeous day, I have my handsome boy with me, we just had amazing sushi and are sitting at Starbucks with free internet and how much more normal can you get? Ahhhh the small pleasures you take for granted…..will cover more of those of course. But now off to do a little retail therapy and get ice cream! And then back to “work” on our floating home office of sorts. Later land dwellers!!!

 

 

 

Adjusting....as usual.

I’m lying in bed in the cabin with my computer…oh and Chris of course. It’s been almost 3 weeks since I started actually working. Believe it or not I am exhausted. People take for granted what entertainers go through on mostly a mental level to do what they do and I forget it sometimes myself. Today was my day off on this particular run and it could not have been more needed. So where to start? 3 weeks to catch up on so here’s the best I can do I suppose!

    First off, when you sign on a ship as a crew member there are all sorts of fun protocols you go through. This time around was a little strange as I had already been vacationing here for 3 weeks prior and the crew was already used to my face. Nevertheless, I had to show my face at multiple training sessions (which you go through every contract and know word for word what is going to be said) which were not too bad as I got to have a few familiar faces there with me. One of the bizarre and quite entertaining parts of ship life is the people you meet and make friends with who pop in and out of your life unexpectedly and know you in such different stages of your ship career. I reunited with Charlie (a sweet young dancer from Britain) and Greg (a Canadian piano bar singer) both of which were with me on the Conquest from quite a while back and knew me at a slightly awkward point of my life and then Laura, a host from Britain who was just with me on the Miracle and saw me as the very sad and hollow version of me desperately missing Chris and about to go home to have surgery and scared to death. She is seeing a totally different version of me at this point and it couldn’t be nicer to see her again under such better circumstances.  It ‘s been nice seeing all 3 of them again as well as a few other familiar faces who I had already been around the previous 3 weeks.

   As far as getting back to work, my schedule is on the cusp of being too much for me. A normal person would look at my hours and laugh at my even batting an eyelash at such little time on the clock. For me though, it comes down to this. I’m a classical pianist. I read what feels like a million little black notes crammed onto an 8X10 sheet of paper at a very quick pace. Doing that for hours on end is mentally taxing first off….well, you say, lots of people do office work for hours a day…..Ok, fair enough, but do office workers do their work in front of a LOT of very noisy people watching and listening to their every move in a performance based atmosphere where you are on display and open to immediate judgment? Then you take into consideration the level of what I am reading and translating to the piano….there’s no amount of transcribing or dictation that could match it. Probably not. So you have that aspect and then there’s the fact that I just had surgery on both wrists and am still a little sore and neurotic to say the least about it all. Any little twinge of pain freaks me out at this point. So the hours may need to be negotiated…..we shall see. My boss, the music director, seems like a nice enough person and now that I have completed both different runs our ship does it may be time for a chit chat. Some good rational logic should sit well with the guy. I hope. So there’s the negatives out of the way.

   I am thrilled to be playing at all, all things considered.  It’s thrilling to be able to do what you love after so much drama getting to the point of actually doing it. All frustrations aside. I have to keep it in mind on a constant basis, like when drunk 20-somethings ask for things like Free Bird……for the record….it’s a guitar solo. Give it up. Aside from the daily little annoyances with work, I am so happy to be with my boy. He has his frustrations too of course which will get covered at another time, but just being in the same place as him takes such a load off. He levels me out like no one can in those moments when I think I am about to lose my mind! On the other hand, I seem to have the same affect too when he finishes a show and has faced whatever anxieties it has caused. In other words, no one should have to go through this lifestyle without their significant other. And the little work annoyances are just the beginning! I will touch on the aspects of this lifestyle itself and they are already rearing their ugly heads here and there! But for now, I am exhausted. A 3 hour set later, it’s late at night and I a spent. I am going to lay in bed and stare at an episode of Seinfeld….it’s about my only option with our limited tv reception. More to come soon! I will be better at this I promise!!!!

 

Observations From This End

Two weeks DONE! Holy cow and I am not even working yet! And I still have one more week as a “passenger”. If you could call it that…..

   I have not updated this week as much as I would like. Chris’ parents came to cruise with us this past week and that is always exhausting when family comes on a cruise ship to visit. It didn’t help that it was my first time meeting the parents and was quite nervous so I was on my toes as far as best behavior is concerned. So aside from schmoozing the two of them over numerous dinners and trips to Orlando, Nassau and watching shows, I did do a few other things and took some time to make a few observations this week in reference to the job and lifestyle itself.

    I did some piano playing this week first off. Practiced quite a few hours in preparation for the start of the contract next week. Honestly, the area of my wrists where the operation was performed is still a bit sore. I find myself massaging the scar areas quite often. I was told carpel tunnel can reoccur in some cases which makes me mildly paranoid to say the least. We’ll see I guess in the next few weeks how it goes. Chris was happy to hear me play again and it was nice to have him as a private audience in the piano bar where I was practicing which leads me to one of my favorite observations of my lifestyle…..

    If you have cruised before as a guest and are reading this…don’t take offense to this next section. Take it as an opportunity to learn what things are like from our perspective living on a ship and how you can massively endear yourself to crew members by not being “that person”. Anyways……it’s interesting to me that people vacationing here completely lose the reality that as performers we LIVE here! It’s like every week, having 3,000 or so strangers drag themselves into your living room then want to invade every private nook and cranny of you household. Even if I gave you money to enter your house, I am sure you would still not want me hovering over you at dinner or following you into every room, closet or whatever and then hound you insistently over every nonsensical detail that entered my mind. You may go beserk. So I went to the piano bar during a quiet time of the day each time I went. There are no private places for entertainers to practice on ships. Try as we may, no matter how many “rehearsal in progress” signs we put up or how many doors we shut in an obviously quiet lounge, someone still seems to think that we’re ok with whatever spectator chooses to enter and stare at us and then drown us in nosey questions. While usually, we never mind talking to people or answering questions, here’s the case……if you see a performer or performers that are obviously attempting to rehearse something whether it be music or singing or dancing or if there is a sign posted mentioning it and to keep out or the door is locked…..it would probably be a wise assumption to just keep walking and find something else to do. I mean….it’s a cruise ship for crying out loud!!!!! There are a million things to do and see and I know there is something to do besides infringe on the little time someone has to get something prepared for work. I know not everyone knows this sort of thing…hence the reason I write them down to educate!!! It is a frustration though, when you know in the back of your mind that you only have a limited amount of time to use a lounge or specific instrument before you get hustled out by an activity or before someone comes trying to invade your privacy. Kind of like when you are trying to get work done at home and the kids keep screaming for your attention….only you are not allowed to tell them to go away (for the most part) or have the opportunity to relocate yourself or better yet, them. So, when the guests consistently would pass by the glass walls of the piano bar, see me (in pretty much sweats and a t-shirt….not really performing attire) practicing in an empty bar and then proceed to still try and open the locked door then bang around waiting for it to be opened (which I ignore) I could not help but be baffled, a little frustrated and mildly amused by it. And of course, as I was experiencing that, Chris was in production show rehearsal experiencing the same….huge closed doors with signs signaling rehearsal and to keep out and still a frazzled dance captain having to nicely shout at intruders claiming to “not have known” what was gong on. It’s a constant and ongoing battle!!! Of course not every person is like that….these are the minority we are talking about here. They just seem to be able to sniff us out and have an innate ability to get under our skin!! It’s a lesson in patience for me especially. I do get in a mode of feeling like my home has been invaded by an annoying aunt or something and wanting to hide out in my room while she comes barging in uninvited and I do remind myself a lot that people just don’t understand. I still get caught off guard when people ask….so you live here? I have no idea where they think I would go otherwise but yes….I live here!!! 24/7 on this ship until the contract is over with. There are a million other quirky guest habits that I will thoroughly enjoy describing later, but as this is my last week before work, I am going to enjoy spending all the free time with my boy that I can! Our one year anniversary is this week and I am so happy to be able to spend it with him! I am so lucky to be experiencing all this craziness and such an adventurous lifestyle with the love of my life! I think I fall more in love with him every day if that’s possible……….he’s dong a show right now and I cannot wait until he gets back so we can enjoy more  of this “normality” in our little closet of a room watching movies and cuddling! At least here we don’t have to chase anyone off! 

Home

I’m HERE!!!!!!!! Ok, well, I have been here since Sunday now, but it still doesn’t feel real to me yet. For as many times as I have done this, this time has been the most profound so far.

   I knew I missed Chris massively for the past however many weeks and months, but you really have no clue how much you miss someone until you actually see them face to face after so long. He really is the person who makes me feel complete and makes me a better version of me. I never want to spend that much time away from him ever again. Fingers crossed we never do!

    So, getting on the ship was more of the familiar feeling of déjà vu when you get on a class of ship you have been on before. For those of you who do not know what “class of ship” means, in our fleet, there are obviously different sizes of ships, but are referred to as “class” and the Pride falls under the “Spirit class” size. Not too overwhelmingly big, but big enough to give you a sense of having plenty of room to explore and have lots of things to see. So in other words, this being my 3^rd Spirit class ship means walking on to a differently decorated ship makes it feel like someone invaded my house, and re decorated all the rooms in it! I do like the décor though. It’s very gothic/romantic with electric candelabras and dark “wood” scrolling all over the walls with classically styled painting murals on the walls. Lovely. There are always the few lounges that make you wonder what bad drugs the designers were on (aka the disco littered with rainbow colored women’s torsos…think Winged Glory placed everywhere and neon painted…what?) but nevertheless, it’s a beautiful ship. I met everyone in entertainment the first day on, and was more than happy to hear from everyone how excited my boyfriend has been for my arrival and how incessantly he has talked about me in my absence. He’s wonderful! The entertainment department seems very nice, a lot more people our age than not which is refreshing. There are quite a few familiar aces for me here as well and it’s always nice to see old friends. I feel very much at ease and at home here.

   I am staying in Chris’ room with him…of course….but it makes me laugh sometimes. People assume sometimes that as a soloist, Chris gets a larger than normal room. Not so much on this ship! We literally have to crawl over each other to get to the closet and squeeze against walls and the bed to cross paths to the bathroom. I store half my things on the top bunk in my suitcases due to mass lack of closet space. And even with all those restrictions….we still have seemed to manage to have a coffee maker, a water filter and my favorite…a lava lamp on the desk. Our walls are littered with pics of us, letters, artwork, cards from one another and many other personally defining mementos of the two of us.

  What’s funny, is with this big, gorgeous ship, the sunny ports we visit, watching my boy perform in his shows (he is so talented and makes me so proud. I was so happy to watch him again!!) and all the other many perks that come with this lifestyle, my favorite luxury right now is the tiny cramped cabin. There is nothing that makes me feel more at home or more at ease and relaxed and like myself than cuddling up to my favorite person in the entire world and doing something as normal as flipping on the tv while lounging in our pajamas. Or being able to kiss him or hug him whenever I want. Basically, just having him with me is the biggest luxury I could ask for. I am smiling just writing this with him sitting on the bed with me. It’s an amazing feeling! Everything else is just icing that I am very grateful for. This is going to be a wonderful contract. I will write again soon as I could write a lot more now, but I would like to go back to hanging out with my handsome man! All the best to everyone! 

Nearing The End of Skype

I don't want to do this anymore crosses my mind quite a bit lately......not I don't want "THIS" as in the most amazing, wonderful, meaningful, forever relationship with the most amazing man in the world...but THIS as in Skype communication. This for me, has been the bane of my "ship life" downfalls. There are many things about this lifestyle that aggravate me to no end, but this is the worst. 

   Chris and I have not "worked" on the same ship for 10 months. We are not in that lucky group who get to jump ship to ship together, spend those blissful months side by side having adventurous excursions, walking arm in arm to the disco on formal night, enjoying simple things as eating meals together, watching movies, laying outside on sunny days, and even at the most basic, talking whenever we want, having that person there for stressful or happy moments, just seeing the person face to face, hugging, kissing, etc etc....nope. We get what I refer to as the "face in the box". 

   Skype has been our eternal friend and enemy in our relationship. Our social schedules revolve around each other's best time to hop online and share anywhere from a few minutes to a very expensive few hours updating each other on events, and trying our best to feel some sort of emotional connection as hard as that can be so many miles away staring at what is most of the time a blurry representation of that persons' face. It's disheartening and welcome all at the same time. When on a ship, we have to pay for that luxury as well, 20 dollars for 3 hours when we are not in a port with free online access. It's awful how much money we have gone through to talk to each other. 

  Of course I am grateful for whatever time I get. I do find myself feeling insanely hostile when I hear people we work with who maybe have to only spend weeks at a time apart whine loudly over the short duration about how much they miss that other person, knowing full well that person will be on that same ship with them in days to spend months on the same contract. The longest span of time Chris and I have spent in each other's presence is 2 months. The temptation to write hate mail on learning some tact when people know OUR situation is overwhelming....I try and not hold it against them though. Their reality is different as well as the situation. So we carry on. There are days when Skype does not want to connect....there are days when people are hogging the connection and it's made me cry in frustration. There are times when internet cards have run out mid sentence and no one has a 20 dollar bill for the card machine. And then there are those times when the connection is crystal clear and for a little while you can see small details on the other person's face and it makes you tear up a little because it helps you remember all the little things about how they are in person. And this is 0ne of the things that keeps us going. Apart from a deep and honest love we have for one another, I do find myself glancing at the clock in anticipation of when I get to see and hear from my favorite person in this world. I can't wait to get to the Pride. I miss my man so much there are days when it's almost hard to handle. But nothing is better than the amazing feeling I get when I finally see him in person and get to wrap my arms around him and know, especially this time, for a few very good long months, I will not have to see the "face in the box" for a very very long time. And then it's all worth the waiting and the frustrations that come along with all of this. I love my Chris, and cannot wait for this contract to start.....9 days.   

That Last Week...

It's a little over a week to go before the Pride. To a normal person who would normally go on a cruise ship for 3-8 or so days, this would seem like a super out of the ordinary time of excitement! Well.....exciting, yes. I get to see Chris after 4 months apart and I am stoked!! I can barely see straight I am so thrilled to be with him again! Now the rest of the process can be somewhat of a headache when one steps back to look at the logistics which is where I am right now as I look at the insane amount of mess in my room...and I don't just mean the clothes and music strewn about haphazardly....

   So here's the scenario, you go to a ship for 4-6 or even more months. Think of the normal living circumstances you have on land in a moderately normal house. Even packing to stay in that environment can be a daunting task when you look at it. Now take the smallest room in your house with maybe half the closet space. Add a bathroom to it that is maybe the size of a closet itself. Then you have a small desk with limited shelf space, a small tv and a couple drawers. Oh, and by the way, you're sharing the room with someone. Now you take into consideration the climates you will be in. Sure, you're going to be in beautiful tropical locales, but then there are the days in the ever changing temperatures of your American ports to consider. Now you're stuck with two suitcases (trying to avoid weight charges) trying to pack enough clothes for multiple climates over a long period of time, enough different things to cover work outfits, formal wear, beach wear, casual wear, pajamas, shoes, jewelry, bathroom supplies etc etc etc...you get the idea!!! And then, in my case, lots and lots of music.....yikes!!

    You would think after doing this for a while you know exactly what to take and what not to, what to expect and such. Every contract is just a little different though, and at some point you usually find yourself staring blankly at the closet feeling like you have worn everything 15 times in one week! Mind you, NONE of this is a complaint!!! It just comes with the territory and is one of the many things people are curious about. At the moment, I am feeling overwhelmed with putting my life back into suitcases. I have 2 different concerts I am playing piano for and feel massively underprepared for both, not to mention one falls the night before I leave!! I have friends who want to see me before I leave, a brother's graduation to go to, among other things while of course keeping up my daily Skype dates with Chris before I finally see him in person next weekend!!! Thinking of that makes the busy and mildly stressful week ahead all worth it! So with that all in mind, I have some things I need to get to! Next update will probably come right before I leave for Baltimore! Can't wait!!  

Another Beginning.....

    Here we go again! I am starting another blog (as my last one was a massive fail...I was quite lazy with it) only this time will be documenting mine and my boyfriend Chris' lives as entertainers on a cruise line. People ask questions all the time about every aspect of what we do, so I thought this would be a good way to let people in behind the curtain to see the inner goings on of what ship life is really like. In a nutshell.....it's insane. And personally I usually say it takes mildly insane people to not only choose entertainment as a lifestyle, but to choose this method of it. 

 

   In less then 2 weeks, I will board the Carnival Pride to start a 4 month contract as a solo piano player. Chris is already there singing lead vocals in their production shows so I will be joining him after not having worked together for about 10 months. It has been pretty brutal to say the least!!!! I can't wait to see him! And I can't wait to get back to the warm weather, the beaches, the ports, playing music etc etc.....it's a rough life I know! But there are, like any other jobs, down sides too...some which people never expect to hear about and I can't wait to share all the craziness with everyone!! I will try my best to update this as constantly as possible so keep checking back and if you have questions I am not covering or want to remind me to get on here more, please write and tell me!! Looking forward to telling our stories!!! All the best!

  

   -Alison